How to plan the conversation

You’ve done it. You signed up to be a group leader. You heard a call in your heart to step out and help others connect to Jesus and to each other, and you said “Here I am Lord, send me.” And now you’re wondering, “what on earth am I going to talk about?”

I’ve been leading groups for a long time, and one thing I’ve learned is that every group is different and no two conversations are the same. So what I offer here are some simple guidelines for how to plan your groups conversation in order to steer your members in the right direction while allowing them freedom to contribute and participate.

1. Pray for wisdom. As you sit down to prepare for your upcoming group meeting, it is best to always start with prayer. Pray that you would hear from God, for wisdom to know the best questions to ask and the best way to approach the subject matter. Pray for your members and their growth. Pray for a closer walk with Jesus, and deeper relationships with each other.
2. Review the Questions. If you are doing the Sermon Study Guide there are usually 5-7 questions provided to you. If you are doing another Study Guide or going through a book of the BIble together, the principle is still the same. Go through the questions with the wisdom you’ve asked for and pick out the question that you believe best apply to and work for your group. Think through which questions might cause trouble and which ones might stir growth. You may want to customize the question to better fit your specific group members experience. Either way the goal is to thoughtfully explore which questions will open up discussion and allow for conversation and growth.
3. Identify & Steer towards the Main Points. In any group discussion there are usually multiple points that could be made and many directions your could steer them in. It is best to pick 1 or 2 main points that you feel need to be emphasized throughout the meeting and continually draw the conversation back to them. It is inevitable that throughout the meeting people may start chasing rabbits down rabbit trails, sometimes those trails are worth following, but be prepared to steer the conversation back onto the main path towards the main point.
4. Anticipate Potential Questions, Challenges and Insecurities. This may be one of the most crucial steps in my opinion. It is important to prayerfully think through what challenges might be brought against the topic of the meeting. For example, if your topic is Giving, you will almost inevitably be challenged, or at least questioned, about how much we should give, and maybe even why we should give at all. It would be wise to be prepared for that. Some people might have previous encounters with other churches or organizations that wasted money, or abused power, and so with that they bring in an insecurity about giving to churches and organizations. Again it would wise to think through how to respond to that insecurity with grace and wisdom. May be no one will say anything, but better to be prepared then caught off guard.
5. Allow Silence & Wait Patiently. If you want your conversation to go will, then don’t hog it. Ask the question and allow awkward silence to ensue. It often takes people a while to warm up, or at least to process the question and formulate an answer. It’s ok for it to be quiet for a little while. If you jump in to early to fill the silence, you may be losing out on a valuable insight or even squash someone who just got the courage to speak up.
6. Don’t Outprepare the Holy Spirit. The saying is true that no one plans to fail, they simple fail to plan. You should prepare and plan on how to steer the conversation, but the reason we started with prayer was so that our hearts would be sensitive to hear from the Holy Spirit and what He thinks is best. So don’t be so rigid in your plan that you fail to hear the audible from the Holy Spirit who’s asking you to throw it out the window to follow His plan.

So ultimately the answer to “what am I going to talk about?” is a simple one, you’re going to plan to help others talk about Jesus together. It’s as simple as asking a question and pointing the answers towards Jesus.